The 5 Love Languages of Children

By Gary Chapman, Ross Campbell

The reason I chose this book is I heard “The 5 Love Languages” on Unlock podcast in June. There are eight collection books which are five love languages about general, men, hardcover special edition, children, teenagers, teen’s guide, singles and militaries. When I was heard first time that book, I really wanted to know my love languages. So, I tested by their website that is www.5lovelanguages.com . My love language is words of affirmation, hearing the words “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Therefore, I interested to read that book. This time, I read “The 5 Love Languages of Children” by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.

Every child has a primary language of love, a way in which children understands a parents’ love best. There are twelve chapters in this book. I am going to write about meaning idea of each four chapters.

1.     Love is the Foundation

Modern parents don’t care for their children due to too much their work. However, Parents usually think they care their children, they cannot. For instance, they have dinner with cellphones. Parents usually talk about their primary work while they are eating. Every child has emotional tank which fills speaking them own love languages. In addition, we need to fill our children’s emotional tanks with unconditional love, because real love is always unconditional. There are five love languages for foundation which are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service. This book focuses primarily on children’s need for love and how to provide. If your child is under four years old, they speak all five languages. Also, more than 4 years old, you have to find his/her own love languages.

2.     Love Language 1: Physical Touch

Physical touch is the easiest love language to use unconditionally, one of love’s stronger voice. The language of touch is not confined to hug or a kiss but includes any kind of physical contact. I think shoulder is the most important body part. If you are busy, you can often gently touch their shoulder. It will help to your communication and their love language. When your child begin school, you should hug your child. In the school, children facing new experience, and they feel negative and positive emotions. Therefore, parents should haven, the place where love is secure.

Other physical touches:

-       Play games (basketball, football and soccer)

There are contact games, touching him on the shoulder, arm, back or leg when you playing with them. Encouraging words, is meaningful expressions of love to a growing child.

-       Reading a story (small child)

Girls are different from boys, are shying other people. Because, they have a difficult time relating to the opposite sex. It is sad but true that not all touch is loving.  If your child is primary love language, physical touch will communicate love more deeply than other love languages. So, you should taker child’s hand, touch arm, beginning at the wrist and working slowly up to your shoulder. All people can learn the language of physical touch, and if it is your child’s primary love language, it is worth your best efforts.

3.     Love Language 2: Words of Affirmation

The second love language is “Words of Affirmation”. In communicating love, words are powerful. All time, children receive emotional messages from their environment. The tone of voice, gentleness of mood, the sense of caring all communicate emotional warmth and love. Children think we deeply believe what we say.

I and book are suggesting that words:

-       I love you, honey. I love you,……..

-       I care about you

-       You are good girl/boy.

-       You can do it.

-       You are the best one.

-       Thank you so much for doing that

Every experience is new. Learning to walk, to talk, or to ride a bicycle requires constant courage. All children are guided by someone that are parents, school, media, the culture, or peers. In other word, there are influence children’s behavior.  I enjoyed one sentence which is “The greatest enemy of encouraging our children is anger”.  Angering, result will be children who are both anti-authority and anti-parents. Many parents say, “Don’t lie, don’t hit your sister, don’t cross the street, don’t smoke, don’t get pregnant etc.,”. These are good warnings but hardly enough direction to build the meaningful life.

4.     Love Language 3: Quality time

The third love language is “Quality time”. It is focused, undivided attention. As a child grows, the giving of quality time becomes more difficult. Quality time doesn’t require that you go somewhere special. Spending quality time with children, you need to go to their physical/emotional level of development. Moreover, it isn’t only means doing things together, but it is a means for knowing your child better.

If your child’s love language is quality time (In book)

-       Stop what you are doing to make eye contact with your child as they tell you something

-       Turn off your tv show to watch your child’s favorite show with them

-       Ask very specific questions about your child’s day that do not have a yes or no question